Each Spring, after the conclusion
of Purim, Alter Ashkenaz brought his wife to the rabbi in Podloz for a
divorce. Each year, something or someone
intervened, and the divorce failed to happen.
In the beginning of their marriage, it was Alter’s heart which was the
most formidable obstacle. He dearly
loved his young wife Sarai. But after
the first two years of marriage, it was apparent that Sarai was barren. Alter was forty-five, and had been married
before. His first wife bore a son who
died before his circumcision. Then she
bore another son who died along with her hours after the difficulty
delivery. After the period of mourning,
the town matchmaker approached Alter and arranged the marriage with Sarai.
So,
when two years elapsed without a baby, Alter surmised the problem lay with
Sarai. The two remained tight lipped
about the problem. What was there to
say? She visited the ritual bath every
Friday, and following the evening meal, they would go to bed.
In a quiet, but devout way, they loved each
other, and that loved spilled over its decorous limits into passion. But their fervent union brought no
children. When Alter couldn’t sleep with
Sarai because it was her time, he was glum, not because he couldn’t share her
bed, but because once again she was not pregnant. Yet another month without a child; yet
another month and Alter was no closer to having an heir to help him in his
cobbler’s shop. Yet another month with the growing dread that he would have to
divorce the woman he loved or grow to old age without children.
“You
should divorce her immediately,” Mendel the baker, whose shop was next to
Alter’s, constantly chided him. “She is
barren – it is your obligation to bear children. To remain married to her is a sin.”
“No,”
Alter shook his head and drew smoke from his pipe. He sat on a sack of flour in Mendel’s bakery,
and watched his friend kneed dough.
“I should give it more time.”
“Time!”
Mendel spat. “Who has time? May you live
to 120! The Lord gives and the Lord
takes, and Blessed be the Name of the Lord.
The Talmud says a man can divorce a woman for any reason at all! Because she spoils his dinner, or because
another woman turns his head…”
“She
would not consent,” Alter answered tightly.
“Consent! Heavens Alter, you act like a greenhorn. You don’t need her consent. It’s up to you. If you can divorce her for burning your kasha,
you can certainly divorce her for not bearing a child!”
Alter
dispelled Mendel’s words, but their echo rang through his mind. He watched
Sarai walk about the house, cooking, cleaning, mending, and a hundred times he
found the words on the tip of his tongue.
Then, three years after their marriage, right
after Purim, he suddenly uttered the horrid words. He found himself saying the dreaded phrases
to Sarai with his eyes downcast, for he could not bear to look at her
face. He could only gauge her reaction
by her wavering voice, which was brimming with tears.
He
still did not look at her as he hitched the horse to the wagon and she climbed
aboard. A divorce must take place in a
city with a river, so they had to make the day long journey to Podloz, where a
branch of the Vistula flowed through the
center of the village.
They
arrived, and Alter placed his fist on the door of the rabbi’s house, a prelude
to knocking. But then he heard the sound
of gentle crying. He was surprised to
find it was his own. His heart was
broken. He could not do it. Sobbing, he grasped Sarai by the
arm and led her to the wagon. They
climbed up and did not speak the entire ride back.
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