Servi
wandered about the back of Joy’s bungalow where the sand sloped gently to the
sea. A small light burned in her living
room window, but it was not enough to illuminate the beach. So Servi stumbled on something in the sand.
“Is that you Servi?” said Joy.
Servi answered yes and sat next to her.
Gone where the orthodox garments.
He loose, brown hair blew in the stiff, ocean breeze and she was draped
in a rough, wool blanket. She offered
Servi a corner and he slid in, feeling her warmth. Her regular rate of breath.
“You still smell like beer,” Joy
said softly. Servi could not see her
well, but he could feel her eyes probing him in the dark. “Are you always drunk?”
“When I’m not working.”
“And what do you do?” Servi answered her. Joy was silent.
“You think I’m falling below the
mark of my potential,” Servi intoned with mock gravity. Joy, on hearing this, heaved a heavy sigh.
“Trust me, Joy, I didn’t fall below
the mark, the mark fell below me… or at
best, we met each other as we passed, it up and me down…” Joy laughed and reached out beneath the blanket and squeezed his hand. For a moment, he remembered their subtle
youth, when a touch on the hand or the arm could tingled every nerve in his
body. Now he lived under the tyranny of
the shattering male orgasm. The touch
of a hand or arm felt blunted upon his skin.
“I shouldn’t judge,” Joy said,
breathing deeply. “My life has fallen
below the mark, many marks. However you
want to see it…”
“What happened to your marriage?”
“My husband was secular when we
married, but then he began to get more and more Jewish. He fell in with a Chasidic group, so I
followed along. But then things got
strange. We had the kids, and he wanted
to make aliyah to Israel and take
a second wife. This group does this,
secretly. I refused. He tried to force me to go… so I came here,
the only place that's mine, my parent’s bungalow. Rather than fight me we agreed on a
divorce. He didn’t want a scandal. He has a business and a lot of money. Let him go to Israel and have a harem, for all I
care."
“I’m sorry that happened,” Servi
answered, squeezing her hand.
“It was God,” Joy continued, taking
her other hand and wrapping it around the one in Servi’s. “All those times in my twenties when I had
many men at once… two, sometimes three at a time… sometimes in the same
day. Then I get a husband who wants to wives and I
think it is an injustice.”
“The situations are a little
different, aren’t they?”
“No.
Maybe. I don’t know. It was sperm competition.”
“Pardon me?”
“Sperm competition. Barry, my ex, works for a genetics
company. There was always this
evolutionary biology literature around the house. Woman want the ejaculate of more than one man
because the sperm fight it out to fertilize the egg. Survival of the fittest stuff. Some sperm act as hit men, stopping alien
sperm in their tracks. In studies men
are more turned on by viewing porn with two men and one woman than any other
combination… the possibility of sperm competition raises the sperm count in
men, makes it more hot. I don’t
know. You had sex with me back then, was
it hotter than with women who weren’t sleeping around?”
“I just thought it was because you
were hotter than most women I knew”
“That’s sweet, Servi. But when you heard I was sleeping with other
men, you did the things the study said you’d do. You were more aggressive. You were fast. The penis is designed, in part, as a scoop to
take out sperm of other men. You did all
those things. It was great.”
“Well, if I would have had a choice,
I wouldn’t have shared you with anyone. But
I didn’t have a choice.”
“I’m sorry. I was unfair to you. To everyone.
If it makes you feel better, I am paying the price now.”
“That’s a load of crap, Joy,” Servi
laid her hand gently on the sand and pulled him toward her, hugging. “You were young. You did what you wanted to do… if I could
have, I would have done the same thing.”
“But not to me…” Joy asked, her
voice quivering. “If we were together,
you wouldn’t need another woman?”
“No.
You’d be everything to me.”
“We should have stayed together,”
Joy mused.
“Joy, were we ever together to stay
together?”
“Don’t make fun of me, Aaron. I always had strong feelings for you… even
when we were kids, even when I was engaged, that was why I called you back
then… because… I..."
“You what?”
“I loved you,” Joy said, and then,
after a moment’s reflection. “I love you… now.”
“You shouldn’t say things like that
unless you mean them. The heart of a
drunk seems buoyant but it is as fragile as china.”
“I’m fragile too. I feel like I haven’t learned a thing about
life. I’m all broken up…” And they
kissed, and Servi and Joy pressed against each other, and searched for
indicators of a past which was, if not ill spent, than was so abused it had only
left a bare impression of its original innocence. They pulled at each other’s clothes. They adjusted the wool blanket. When it was over, Servi lay there, aware of
how cold it was, but doing nothing to remedy it. His face was planted in the moist sand.
“I haven’t made love in a year,” Joy
said, pointing away from Servi, into the wind.
“What?”
“I haven’t made love in a year, can
you believe it?” she answered louder.
“When did you have sex last?”
“This morning,” Servi answered,
turning his head toward her. “Does that
surprise you?”
“No,” Joy answered quickly,
firmly. “It is all fair.”